They Call Me Mellow Yellow

Heartbreak Hotel

2009-06-22T05:32:00.000-07:00

**My friend, you are amazing. You are beautiful. You are strong. I am so proud of you. I will be here to hold your hand, to guide you through, to catch you if you need to fall. You should know how much you are loved not only by me...but many others...and I promise to always remind you of this.**

Almost all of us have been through some sort of heartbreak in some form or another. My friend wrote the entry bellow and I wanted to share it with others. I can relate on so many levels...I'm sure we all can. It's a hard lesson that can only be learned by living it. It always helps to know you are not alone in your pain, that many of us have been down that road and have come out better, stronger, and happier women...I know this will be no different for my friend.

Dear God,

Dear God...dear universe...I have walked off the cliff. I have taken a leap of faith. Please catch me.

I fell in love. I felt love embrace me like a mother embracing her child... erasing the scars of past pain. I felt beautiful. I felt invincible. Love letters, gifts, skipping through the sunshine, boundless energy, endless possibilities. I became so drunk with love that I stopped watching the road. And something happened. Something I do not understand, something I will never understand. He lost his faith. In himself, in the universe, in love, in me. I tried but I couldn't help him. I was no longer the sun in his sky...nor was he mine. But I couldn't let go.

How can something be so beautiful, so powerful, yet so fleeting? Somewhere inside I believed that I would kiss him one day and he would wake up and be the prince charming that he once was again. I wanted him by my side while we walked parallel on our separate paths taking over the world with love. Warriors with weapons of art, poetry, and music.

In the past two weeks I was in a trance. As I worked, as I played as I moved, as I stood still. I dreamed I tried to scream but I had no voice. I dreamed tried to run but I could not move my legs. I took walks...I wrote in my journals. I began to eat vegan again... I began to purge my life of apathy and cruelty. But I stopped dancing. And I was still sick and sad all the time.

The day of my very first concert came. For hours before I took the stage I firmly believed I would not be able to sing. That I would open my mouth and nothing would come out. I asked my partner, I asked the tech person to turn up the microphone over and over again. They laughed and assured me I would be fine. I was sure I had no voice. But I did sing. I heard my voice through the speaker and I realized it was strong and beautiful but unsure.

I have been so unhappy. I have been waiting for something to happen. Something good, something bad. And suddenly one uneventful day I realized that I didn't have to wait. I am... the Aries warrior. I had to fight for myself. So I went to his house. Everything was there just as I had left it when I last saw him. It smelled like him. It was messy as usual. A chaos rich with beautiful memories. I filled a bag with a few of my things and I left. I drove away with the voices of all of the people who love me the most in my head telling me I deserved better, telling me that I hadn't been myself for a long time. The voice that was loudest was my own.

And now here I am. Part of me still dreams that he will wake up. I am thankful for that part of myself. It is the part that never gives up hope. I left the battle field as I came to it.... a relentless dreamer. Stubbornly optimistic and faithful.

And he sleeps still. He dreams endlessly of his past. He doesn't believe he could do better... he can be better. He looks in the mirror and he does not see a beautiful face. He sings so softly that even he cannot hear himself. It took me a while to realize that its not my fault that he is unhappy... that it is has nothing to do with me. That the little light I shined as I streaked across his heart was not enough to inspire him to evolve into someone he could believe in. Someone he could love.

Maybe this letter is long and self indulgent. But I found my voice and I am going to scream. I found my feet and I am going to run. I am going to fight for myself. And I am going to win.

Love,
(My friend)

Can You Take It?

2009-06-05T17:11:00.000-07:00

Take what? Criticism.

I’m currently reading “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch and I'm surprisingly enjoying it despite my lack of wanting to read it in the first place.

Today I had a conversation with a friend in which we talked about how I had recently dealt with a situation that had come up in my life. After going through the motions of telling her why I did what I did, she told me “well as long as you’re happy that’s all that matters”. Since I know this friend well enough, I knew this was a BS answer. I then asked her to tell me what she really thought. She proceeded to ride me hard (or maybe I just saw it that way because I was being sensitive) about how she didn’t agree and felt my whole situation could have been avoided.

It’s funny because I hadn’t wanted to tell this friend in the first place and when I told her that, she replied “why? Because you can’t accept criticism from your friends who care about you?” I shouldn’t be surprised by this comment, anyone who knows me well knows I’m not a fan of criticism…it’s always hard for me to hear. Honestly, who’s a fan of criticism? I will admit some people are better then others…but it’s a quality I openly lack.

How ironic it is that I just happen to be reading “The Last Lecture” and I just happen to come across this passage just a few short hours after my conversation with me friend:

“When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you. That lesson has stuck with me my whole life. When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody's bothering to tell you anymore, that's a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better."

Maybe this was a sign that I need to reevaluate the way I react when my friends/family give me advice on subjects I’m not asking for advice on.

I openly voice my frustration when I continuously lend advice to one of my best friends who seems dead set on refusing it. I seem to be able to dish it just fine…but taking it is a whole other story. Again maybe this is teaching me that I should be more understanding when my friends put my advice aside and continue on a path that I may not necessarily agree with...because regardless I will love and care about my friends.

At 24 I still feel like I learn something new everyday. I’m grateful for all the lessons I seem to be learning along the way. Today was a day where everything seemed to fall into place at exactly the right time. I am again grateful; this time for the gentle reminds that God seems to send my way.

Have a good weekend.

A Story To Tell

2009-06-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

Taryn and I met in the summer of 2005. We were both students at The Washington Center taking a two week seminar on the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. This was Taryns first exposure to the conflict and this is what would lead her to do what she is doing today.

Taryn and I grew a lasting bond in those two weeks. We were pretty much inseparable as we laughed and cried and fought with our classmates. She is truly an amazing person. We traveled to Egypt together in the summer of 06, which then made her want to take learning Arabic seriously…and so she did.

I’m writing this post because my dear friend Taryn has just left for Palestine. She will be staying in Nablus for 2 months volunteering in refugee camps. She has started a blog not only to talk about her trip but to get the word out. To Taryn, helping the refugees learn English and computer skills is only part of the purpose. Her goal is to provide an outlet that gives people a real look into what everyday life is like for these people.

I love this girl more then I can say and I ask that each and every one of you keeps her in your prayers. She is doing remarkable things and it’s truly an inspiration to myself and many others.

I have attached the link to her blog, I have a feeling you all will really enjoy it. Please get the word out and pass this link onto others.

http://finablus.wordpress.com/

Friends

2009-04-21T17:57:00.001-07:00

Friends. A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life."

-Kate Tierney

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

2009-04-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl “will you marry me?” The girl said “No!”

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn’t save money, and had all the hot water to herself.

She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her a%*, didn’t shave her underarms if she didn’t want to, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped, swore, and farted any time she felt like it.

THE END

Everybody is free to wear sunscreen

2009-03-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

I heard this song on an old CD the other day and thought it would be a great reminder. Everytime I hear it, I think about how true all of this is. Best line: "Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum."

<3 Enjoy <3

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, ,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

American Idol: New Singers, New Judge, New Rules

2009-03-12T15:47:00.001-07:00

So it's my favorite time of the year. Yes, even after all these years I still love watching American Idol. I honestly believe this is one of the only family shows left on T.V. It's something I watch with both my parents and grandparents that we can all enjoy together.

So here are my thoughts on this past weeks opening of the Top 13 finalists and the season in general. Let me start off by saying I hate the fact that there are 4 judges, if I have to hear Kara say "I don't feel your connection to the song" one more time I might scream. I just think why mess with something that was good, and 4 people is just a waste of time. Paula really annoys me as well. You know she is going to give the contestant negative feedback if she starts off by saying "well you look beautiful". It will almost ALWAYS be followed by a BUT. Does she really think by telling a girl she looks pretty that it will make up for the fact that she sucked at singing?

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole "Judges Save" rule. They can save one person who gets the fewest votes at any point now through the top five; but it has to be unanimous. Nobody will be eliminated that week; the next week, two people will get cut and they can only use it one time. If I were a contestant I would rather get kicked off in the later rounds because to be honest American Idol often does a really bad job of marketing the person who wins. So many people who were kicked off in past seasons got their names out there and were able to get great opportunities following the show. I just think it's pointless for the judges to be able to save one person when the whole point of the show is that America get's to vote!

I was so happy when I heard they would be singing Michael Jackson songs, what a way to kick it off. I have never been this impressed by the top finalists! This might just be one of my favorite seasons because there are so many good people. It's actually a lot harder and I think many of these people will go on to do great things even if they don't make it to the end. Usually on the opening night people tend to be really nervous and the majority of them don't really have their finest hour. This is the first time ever where I didn't hear myself say "OMG that was really bad!!". For the most part I think everyone did well but there are defiantly people I'm not to impressed by:

Megan Corkey

I think she kind of has this funky little voice, but nothing that makes me say WOW. Although I though it was cheesy for her to sing Rockin Robin it fit her voice in a weird sort of way. I also serisouly can not stand the way she twists from side to side while singing. Does anyone else notice this or is it just me?

Scott MacIntyre

Scott's story is amazing, but come on guy's...he's really not that great of a singer! He was born blind, started college at 14, and is a talented musician (he's great behind the piano!), I really want to like him, but he just does not do it for me. I hope it's his voice and not his story that keeps getting him along in this (let's all say it together now) singing competition.

Michael Sarver

Another person, with yet another story. I think he did well this week, I just don't think he stands a chance against people like Danny, Matt, and Adam! Oh I will get to them :)

AnoppDog

I love this kid. He's Desi (which I think is awesome lol) has a good voice and is just a likable person. I think the judges were way to hard on him this week. I understand "Beat It" is an untouchable song but I think he did really well with it. Plus if it's so "untouchable" don't put it in the song book!

I have the hotts for Matt Giraud! He honestly reminds me A LOT of JT and every time he sings I'm loving it. I hope he goes far!

Oh boy watch out for Danny Gokey, I knew from the first time I heard him sing that he would do so well. I wont be as bold as Paula and say he's gonna make it to the finals (it's only week one) but he's defiantly a person to look out for!

Adam is great but he's screaming and screeching is not my cup of tea.

My favorite girls by far are Alexis and Allison...I hope there are many more weeks of them to come! Oh ya, Lil has a good voice but I think she has to grow on me. Plus I feel like she comes off as if she already knows she's great and I don't like that.

I was soooooooooooooo happy to say goodbye to Jasmine last night, I don't think she should have ever made it through in the first place. I felt bad for Jorge, but it's a tough competition and you have to bring it every week.

I'm so excited to see how things play out throughout the season. I'm sure I'll keep my thoughts posted!

I'm off to NYC this weekend. I talked to an old friend this week and decided to go on a whim. I'm really excited to get out of D.C for a little while...I need this!

Sarah Out :P

P.S I also really enjoy Kris, but I'm gonna have to say he's forgettable since I didn't even think to include him!

Back To Reality

2009-03-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm being much too lazy these days, and I'm determined to snap out of it! I should be taking serious advantage of my much needed time off, but I feel like I have not been as productive as I truly should be. My new goal is to sleep earlier, wake up earlier, work out more often (I SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET BACK ON THIS), eat better, read more book, watch less T.V, blog when I can, and look for jobs (which I have already been doing!). Am I aiming to high? I would like to think not. I just have to be serious about getting on a better schedule. I honestly didn't think I would go this long without a job. I have truly enjoyed the last two months of pretty much doing NOTHING, but I think it's time to get back on the right track.

So every year we all think of things we need to work on. I gave up on new years resolutions a long time ago, because I was always disappointed when I never truly stuck to it. I feel like it's time to bring it back. I know I can do anything if I really want to; I just have to put my best foot forward and work hard...even if it kills me.

I'm only going to start with three; anymore then that and I know I will fall short. Start small and work your way up, it's the only way for me at least.

Stay Organized: In general I'm a pretty organized person, but I know I can do better. If I prioritization my time and come up with a good schedule/routine I know I can accomplish so much more. I bought myself a planner and have really been using it...but I guess that's not such a big deal since I don't exactly have a ton going on right now. I carry it in my purse, and surprisingly I find myself wondering "why have I never done this before". It's nice to be able to look through and see: I have an interview on Monday, dinner date on Wednesday, and I better not forget to wish my friend a Happy Birthday on Friday.

Work Out: I have a love hate relationship with the gym. I love going, every time I get on a treadmill/elliptical I feel like I could go on for hours. When I walk out of the gym I feel so refreshed and can't wait to come back. So then what's the big deal? Getting there! I always say "I'm going to go to the gym today" and then I some how always find a way out of it. Last summer I was working out with a trainer two times a week, going to the gym on my own once a week, and taking a belly dancing class once a week. I had not felt so good since my softball days when skipping a workout was never even a thought. Unemployment does not help my situation, but I have to stop using that as an excuse, I didn't buy those Biggest Loser workout DVD's for nothing (believe it or not, it really is a killer workout). I have to find ways to be creative and get back in shape...I know I'll feel so much more energized and that's just what I need right about now.

Patience: It's funny that I come to this last, because it by far needs to be at the top of my list. We all have something we know about ourselves that we truly must work on but always find a way of saying "this is who I am". Innallaha-maa-as-Sabereen, God is with those who have patience. I feel like I need to walk around saying that until I live it and breathe it. It upsets me to know that the best of people are those who have patience and it's something I severely lack. When I want something I want it then and there, and I’m bad at taking “no” for an answer. I know better then anyone else that life does not work out that way, but still I must remind myself "BE PATIENT". I face things in my everyday life that force to me learn how to be more patient I almost feel like it's God's way of telling me "I'm going to make you to learn this trait if you like it or not". This is just another reminder of how blessed I really am. As much as I don’t believe I have any of this beautiful thing in me, I know it’s not fully the case. I have dealt with many things in life where I proved to myself and many others that I have what it takes. I just need to find a way to bring it out on my own and not only when I’m “forced”. I have just realized how much this effects not only myself but the people around me. I know this will benefit me in the best of ways and I hope the people closest to me will bare this in mind and always be willing to provide me with a nice reminder.

So I'm going to work hard on these three things. If I put my mind to it I know it will happen.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

So This Is The New Year, And I Don't Feel Any Different

2009-01-22T19:51:00.000-08:00

Oh but contrary to the Death Cab song, I do feel different, very different!

It's been a while! I find myself saying that with every new post since they have started to become so few and far between. It's only been a handful of months since my last entry but it already feels like a lifetime ago. A new President, a new year, a new job (sooner then later I hope!), and new friends :)

Congratulations to both Rudy and Mai on their weddings! They were both so beautiful in their own ways, and I'm so happy I got to be there to celebrate your special day. Rudy, if the time comes…you can help plan my wedding any day!

What an amazing time in history to be alive. To one day be able to look back and say I remember the day Barack Obama was elected, will be an amazing story for my kids and grand kids. On the other hand they may just think history is really boring, and hopefully by the time they can comprehend such things the idea of an African American becoming our commander-in-chief will no longer seem like such a big deal....and they will wonder "how was there ever a time where this was not normal". I truly look forward to that.

So I'm back and I'm jobless, what more can I say? ALOT! So although I'm jobless and currently have no cash flow...I'm somewhat enjoying this time. I feel like I'm in college again...sleeping at 3 or 4am (it's 2:15am as I'm typing this) and waking up at noon. If you would have asked me a month ago I would have said it was awesome...now I'm starting to think I'm REALLY over it and ready to get back to a normal life style, a normal schedule, and a normal paycheck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the few opportunities I have been presented with. I would love nothing more then to get a job this month and magically be able to afford two tickets to see Death Can on April 8th...now that would be a way to celebrate! I also happen to need a new iphone since I cracked my screen when I dropped it this week!!!! At least it's still working (alhamdulilah!) so it could be worse. The sliver lining..it's a new thing I'm trying out ;)

I have spent most of the last two months really reaping the benefits of Netflix. I only wish I had started to use it a long time ago. I can't stop getting hooked on new shows which I have a feeling I will soon come to regret...god knows I already watch enough damn TV! Can I just say that Rudy has it spot on when she says "Entourage is Sex and The City for men" hahaha. I can't get enough of that show! It some how makes me see LA in a whole new light.

It's been way to long. I feel like I have so much to say but want to save it for another day...it gives me a reason to come back and write. I have been so damn lazy, I def need to this to get my brain working again.

Other then watching new T.V shows/movies...I have gotten the chance to catch up on a lot of reading and I love it! Got any good books for me to add to the never ending list? Let me know!

I'm really proud of one said friend. She's what made me want to get on and write today. She's actually the person who makes me want to stop being lazy and start making things happen. It’s inspiring to see someone get out there and do all the things they want to do. Be it starting a band or a new blog..nothing seems to big for this friend. So thank you for what you bring to my life.

I still have things left on my "To Do List" from last May (I SERIOUSLY can not believe it's almost been a year!) and as soon as I get a job I vow to make those things happen. I wish I updated this more often and I think it's time to get on it. Said friend, you know who you are...let's start coming up with blog ideas....I can't wait. But what I really can't wait for is your blog!

So my brain is all over the place, this is a great thing! I'll be posting more..I feel it. Hope you have missed me...and look out b/c it's a new year and it's definitely and new Sarah (yes the old me just might truly be dead and gone)

Reading before bed…this is the life!

Miss Me?

2008-10-19T21:00:00.001-07:00

I was on such a roll this summer with my updates....I don't know what's come over me! Between my crazy end of the summer, Ramadan and work I guess the only thing I really want to do is sleep.

So here are the updates:

Since my last post I happen to turn 24! Yes 24, and I feel so old...God only knows how I'm going to feel next year or better yet at 30! It's so weird to even say 24 when people ask me. I mean let's face it, it's really not that old but I guess I'm just having a hard understanding how time goes by so quickly!

I have the most AMAZING friends, but you all already know that. I got the best birthday gifts EVER! I can only HOPE that one day I find a man who is as intuitive as my girl friends : ) Each of them got me something they new I would love or have heard me talk about over the past few months. I got to see Lupe live last weekend (what an amazing show!) thanks Farida for remembering how much I wanted to see him! I happen to currently be in love with Jim from The Office. Thanks to Rudy I get to drink out of a "I <3 Jim" mug (with his picture in the middle of the heart) each morning. Thanks to Bayan I have the most rockin eye shadow! But I have to say my Tinkerbell necklace takes the cake. Over the summer I happen to mention that I have been wanting this Swarovski Tinkerbell necklace for almost a year now (you should all know that I'm obsessed with Tinkerbell!!). In a previous life I had asked someone else to get it for me but they never came through, so I just happen to say that I needed to go out and get it on my own...but kept putting it off. Nana thank you so much for thinking of it, seriously it makes me almost want to cry...you have no idea how much it means to me and how awesome you are for remembering it from such a brief conversation!>

Ramadan was amazing. Last year I felt like I didn't get the chance to take advantage of the special month the way I should have, and this year I was determined not to let the same thing happen. SubhanAllah, how quickly some of my duas have been answered. The power of prayer is amazing, and the truth is when you turn to Allah and truly ask him for his help and guidance he will never turn away from you. Following the end of Ramadan I was over come with such ease and relief. It was so bitter sweet to see the months go, but I hope to continue to be a better person and build my relationship with Allah outside of the blessed month.

The Redskins are making Sundays a bit more bearable! It makes such a difference when your actually winning games. Are we the best team in the NFL? No, but we got out and play good, clean football and nobody can ask for more then that. Beating the Cowboys and the Eagles back to back on the road was enough to make this season worthwhile! HAIL TO THE REDSKINS, 5-2!

I have become addicted to certain things recently, among them include: The Office (I’m all caught up on all 4 seasons!), Date Lab (first thing I read on Sunday mornings now: located in the Washington Post Magazine), and Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate from Starbucks (omg it's sooooo good! every time I take a sip I can't stop myself from saying emmmmmmmmmmm).

I better not make a habit out of drinking this Hot Chocolate, as I can't afford the 400+ calories it pumps into my body! I'm in love with Jim and Pam, we all need someone like Jim in our lives (I don't care what you say Rudy!!) Date Lab: What a horrible guilty pleasure!! Farida you are always to blame for these things, I swear! "Set loose in a database of more than 1,600 singles, author Anna Bank was charged with finding just two daters who'd go great together " Check out why I can't stop reading Date Lab

The weekend's already over :( But I'm glad I got around to posting. I promise I promise I promise (yes x 3!) myself to be better about this, although I'm already really proud of myself considering this is the longest I have gone without abandoning a blog, I guess third times a charm!

Sex and The City before bed, what a way to end the weekend :) Hope I don’t regret it tomorrow morning.

What's You Sign

2008-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Don't laugh, it's a serious question! When's your birthday is a question that I find myself asking people more and more these days.

I have been putting off writing this post, but since I'm having a funky morning (that has now turned into a funky afternoon since this has taken me ALL day) what better day then today?

Before I even start, Farida is 100% to blame for this new found sick obsession lol. I like many of you once thought all this "sign" stuff was crazy talk. I don't know what exactly struck my interest (maybe it was finding out that Taurus’s and Libras are known to be bad matches, and wishing I had known that 4 years ago haha. Yes Farida, you tried to warn me but it was 3 years to late) regardless the reason, I'm kind of hooked.

Basically it is a study of where the planets are at the time of your birth and how that affects your person and personality.

Yes, when you read about yourself it's NEVER going to sound exactly like you...but often times you have to admit "damn I see a lot of myself in that". Others will tell you to also read about your rising sign (aka your moon sign). Your moon sign is said to rule your personality, while the Sun sign (actually sign for the month/day you were born) rules your individuality. Some people posses more of their moon sign then their sun sign and that's why you may not always agree about the things you read. For example "you could say that your rising sign is your physical self or the face you present to the world. For example, though your Sun sign might be Taurus, your rising sign could very well be Gemini. While you're feeling laid-back, others will tend to see you as a ball of nervous energy and cerebral wit.

I'm a Libra through and through...my rising sign is Aquarius or maybe it's Gemini...I need to check on that again.

Ok ok enough with the mubo jumbo of moon and sun and blah blah blah, because most of you reading this find it to be crap....I once was in your shoes...but I can't help but to be a believe after reading much more into it. I love my new book, which will remain nameless since everyone gets the wrong idea from the title. It goes in depth about each birth sign male and female...and boy oh boy does it lay it out for you haha.

Have fun a read about your self a little. Just have at it, you might really enjoy it once you start. How else would I know to never in 100 years marry a Cancer? I'm just kidding (kind of). I love reading out people that I know because you start to have a better understanding of them. I also love reading about what pairs go together as well. Although any two signs can make it work if they really try to...how nice would it to be to be with a sign that can help make a crazy relationships a little bit easier to bare!

For your reading pleasure I have provided you with a taste of all the signs bellow. Shame on you if you have never read about your own, and if you have maybe this will give you a reason to want more ;)

***Please note: Farida is still dreaming of her blond Leo, if you know of any she would kindly appreciate it if you could please pass them along to her***

***Also please note that not right now or even in the near future, but one day....I will need you to pass along some lovely Aquarius and or Gemini...thank you!***

(I have a random story at the end of this so keep reading)

Aries: March 21- April 20 The Ram (Ms. Farida)

The Ram is the first sign of the zodiac and it would seem those born under this sign are headstrong and leaders. They are usually sure footed and know which way they want to go. They are ruled by the planet Mars and their color is red. Their element is fire and everything about these people is primal. The Aries people are often saying' I am' which would have to be their slogan.

Taurus: April 21-May 21 The Bull

The Bull is the second sign of the zodiac and these people are very much into possessions and material things, their earthly possessions. They show great interest in physical things like sport and food and have very individual qualities. They are ruled by the planet Venus and their color are all shades of blue and green. Their element is Earth and they are usually very cool and very calm. Taurean people usually say ‘I have' which would be their slogan.

Gemini: May 22-June 21 The Twins

The Twins are the third sign of the zodiac and they have a very quick intellect and like to communicate with people. They need a stimulating and changing environment to make them happy. They are ruled by the planet Mercury and the colors that serve them best are light greens and yellow. There saying would have to be ‘I communicate'.

Cancer: June 22-July 22 The Crab

The fourth sign of the zodiac is The Crab and they are usually associated with water and emotions. They could not survive without contact with the dream state and there is plenty of subconscious activity. They are ruled by The Moon and pale colors, including cream and white serve them well. Their motto would be ‘I feel'.

Leo: July 23-August 23 The Lion

The Lion is the fifth sign of the zodiac and like his symbol he is very proud and strong. Leo people have an air of authority and confidence once they have decided on what it is that they are doing. Their planet is The Sun and their colors are all the golden hues. They say ‘I create' or I have made.

Virgo: August 24-September 22 The Virgin

The sixth sign of the zodiac is The Virgin and true to this sign is the serious nature and attitude towards life. They have a strong moral ethic and a tendency to take things literally. The planet that has them fired up is Mercury and the colors that move them are violet, indigo and silver. Their motto would be ‘I serve'

Libra: September 23-October 22 The Scales

The Scales are the seventh sign of the zodiac and his need to weigh things up and balance things out is apparent. They are extremely fair and think things through. They are governed by the planet Venus and the primary colors especially midnight Blue and Pink serve them well. They state that ‘I weigh'

Scorpio: October 23-November 21 The Scorpion

The eighth sign of the zodiac is The Scorpion and the sting this sign can deliver often cuts through to the truth rather abruptly. They can come across as being very direct and this could be the influence of their planets Mars and Pluto. The colors Black, Charcoal and Blood Red are dark colors that match their deep, soulful personalities. Their motto is ‘I control'.

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21 The Archer

The Centaur is the ninth sign of the zodiac and the last fire sign. These people are well known for their love of traveling but if the shoe fits they are very content to settle down. They are lovers of knowledge and as long as this is being fulfilled they can be still. The guiding planet is Jupiter and the colors for them are beige, bronze and denim blue. Their saying is ‘I philosophize'

Capricorn: December 21-January 20 The Goat

The tenth sign of the zodiac is The Goat and is the last earth sign. These people take things seriously and are rather conservative in their outlook. They can be like the rock of Gibraltar and have a vast array of knowledge about everything and anything. They come under the influence of the planet Saturn and their colors are orange and the browns. The words for them are ‘I master' and it doesn't matter how long it takes, they are persistent.

Aquarius: January 21-February 19 The Water Bearer

The Water Bearer is the eleventh zodiac sign and they are the last of the air signs. They have an erratic quality to behavior and like the freedom of choices, they are always seeking the joys in living. The planet Uranus holds great sway over these individuals and they are moved by the fluorescent colours and electric blue. The saying for them is ‘I universalize' as they have a tendency to be able to think for everyone.

Pisces: February 20-March 20 The Fish

The last sign of the zodiac is The Fish and they are also the last water sign but they are also associated with being the link between the earth, sea, air and cosmos. These people are an empathetic bunch who are indeed very generous. They have a saying ‘I believe'.

My random story of the day: In true Libra form, I told a coworker I liked her outfit minus the belt! Who says that?! Insert foot in mouth Sarah.

Until next time my friends until next time ;)

So Bitter Sweet

2008-09-03T05:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted anything and as I predicated at the end of July, August was a CRAZY month.

As the summer comes to an end and we embark on another Ramadan I think to myself how bitter sweet the past three months have been. Although this summer was not what I expected it to be a few months ago, I really couldn’t have asked for a better or more complete summer. I did so many things and kept so busy that I almost can't believe it's over. From vacationing to finally getting the chance to sky dive, to seeing some of my closest friends get married, to slowly checking things off my year long to do list….it was pretty awesome.

Both Chancey and Bayans weddings were beautiful, and I'm so happy I got the chance to be by their sides on their special day. I wish you both nothing but a lifetime of happiness inshAllah. (Bayan, Wallahi Ramadan iftars wont be the same with out you...so sad)

Most of you have seen my sky diving pictures, and I must say it's the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life. There is nothing more freeing then feeling as if you’re flying through the air. I would 100% do it again, and can't wait until the opportunity presents itself. The only thing I wish I could take back is the person I jumped with. Had I not just been on such a high from jumping out of a plan, I would have been really really mad. It sucks when your life is in the hands of the person your attached to and all you want to do is turn around and punch them in the face...knowing that you can't or it will cost you ;)

I ended my summer the way I have for the last 8 years (minus last year), by going to ISNA. It was such a different experience without the C-Uint and for the 100th time this summer I felt so old. It was a really nice weekend alhamdulilah...and a perfect segway into Ramadan, but I did miss the old days. I can't say I missed sharing the room with 5+ girls, but I did miss my crazy friends, late nights, things that will not be named (haha) and the fun we would all have together. Our Ring Free ISNA truly was the last ISNA of the old days :( I really missed your girls this weekend, but Hafsa was an awesome ISNA partner and I think she might be hooked ;)

I can't believe it's already Ramadan. I'm always shocked by how quickly the year goes by. This is by far my favorite month of the year as it should be yours to ;)
With this month comes such a feeling of ease and relief. It truly is the best time to rebuild your relationship with Allah and become closer to him. May all our prayer be accepted this month, and may Allah allow us to continue on this same path following this month.

It already feel like Ramadan is going to fly by (its always does) and I just hope I can make the most out of every moment.....

I doubt I'll be keeping up with this in the next month...but I wanted to make sure to send a kiss off to my beautiful bitter sweet summer.....

You Don't Have One Free Weekend?!

2008-07-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

So the big joke between my friends and I is that I have every weekend of the summer booked. Booked as in I have no room to make plans with anyone b/c everything is already planed out. I don't think anyone else I know is like this expect Rudy...which is why we have to "pencil" each other in before she even gets home from Spain! I don't exactly know how this happened. Back in June I was trying to find a date to go to an amusement park with a group of friends...but once I started writing the dates down...I realized I had only one Saturday free, and that would entail me coming home from the beach!

This weekend started off what will now be a jam-packed rest of the summer. It was so nice to see the VA crew. A year and a half ago I feel like I was in VA every single weekend.....those days are no longer (can you blame me...look at the cost of gas?!?! I seriously pumped regular for $4.26 over the weekend!) So it was nice to see a few of them on Saturday...including Aya who should just move home...who the hell likes Jersey?! I should try and make it out more often.

So from VA I drive into D.C to go to this show for the Belly Dancing class that Farida and I are taking. Never again am I going to drive to Dupont and a Saturday night, NEVER AGAIN. I kid you not when I say I drove around for an hour and a half and ended up calling Farida to come out b/c I had missed everything and there was no place for me to park!

She jumps in the car and we make our way to Baltimore (Yes, I went from Columbia to VA to DC to Baltimore and back to Columbia all in one day...and I really wonder why my gas tank is always on E) for a show at Metro Gallery. Although this wouldn’t be my typical kind of crowd I really enjoyed. Abhishek Basu was playing with the band Telesma that night. He is one of the most famous tabla players in India...and it was pretty damn amazing how he came in and played with the band as if he had been doing it for years. I always meet the weirdest people in Baltimore I mean REALLY WEIRD. Weird like let's hold hands and pray together weird...but again it might have just been the show we were at. I just think I'm a D.C kind of girl...it all goes back to the Redskins what can I say?

By far the best part of the weekend was seeing John Mayer live. Now this was very much my crowd, my music, my everything and I loved every second of it. I have Laila to thank for being the first person to get me into John Mayer. She gave me my first John Mayer CD, and there was no turning back.

I had been looking forward to this show for the past two months. I wake up Sunday morning and realize they were calling for rain. Most people would complain about this, I on the other hand couldn't have been happier. I have recently found a new love for rain. I just love the sound and the way it feels, so I didn't even think to bring an umbrella or poncho unlike the hundreds of people sitting around me. I can't lie I did scream like a baby while we were waiting in line to get in b/c the lightning was so loud and so bright across the sky. I really didn’t feel like getting hit by lighting to see John Mayer, as Farida put it...he's not worth it! The thunder eventually calmed down before he came on and I can't tell you how awesome it was standing out in the POURING rain, with my feet in the soaking wet grass, drenched to the bone jamming out to some of my favorite songs.

Songs I enjoyed most:
Waiting on the World to Change
I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)
Bigger Than My Body
Belief
Gravity

(You can check out the whole set list at John Mayer 2008 Summer Tour)

But by far the highlight of my night was, Slow Dancing In a Burning Room, I almost cried it was so amazing.

Towards the end of the show he reaches down and takes a camera from a girl in the front row. He then takes a self-portrait of himself and then a picture of the girl he took the camera from. I just don't feel like people really do stuff like that anymore. It's like their in and out and call it a day. I saw Red Hot at Verizon Center on their last tour and I was so pissed. They played for ONLY AN HOUR and didn't play any old school music. I think artists forget that their fans make them who they are, and I was happy to see John Mayer still gets that.

He thought it would be a good idea to come out for an encore with no shirt on, I thought so to ;)

He closed the show just jamming on his guitar and letting the crowd know, "It's always ok, there's always a way to feel alright". Couldn't have put it better myself…it was just a nice positive way to end the show. For some people music is something that always makes you feel like it’s gonna be alright. It’s amazing that a few melodies and some words strung together can make you believe that person is living your own life. I didn't think I was gonna enjoy a show more then I did DMB...but I did. This was the first but not that last time I will see Mr. Mayer.

The summer more then half way over, and I wish I had a pause button. I already know the coming weeks are gonna be crazy/fun/relaxing/busy all in one.

Next stop on my summer concert tour: Maroon Five (MAYBE) that is if Bayan does not kill me for going to a concert the night before her wedding...when I'm gonna need to be up helping her the next morning haha. We shall see.
This time next week I'll be on the beach for 6 days straight getting some well needed sun and reading good books....I can't wait

You Rock My World

2008-07-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

I have the best friends on the face of the earth, Alhamdulilah. I am so lucky and blessed to have so many people in my life who truly love and care about me with all their heart. Some I have known my whole life, some I have just met in the past few years. My words could never express to you how amazing you all are, and what you have done for me esp. in the past few months. I can say without hesitation that there are so many of you I could call at 3:00am just b/c and you would answer, let me talk, and then tell me to go back to sleep ;)

Not everyone gets the chance in life to build friendships like this. My word of advise is if and when you find people like this, never let them go...regardless of the stupid fights or disagreements, regardless if some of your beliefs differ, regardless if you sometimes don't see eye to eye (you can't expect people to be just like you, it will never happen) b/c people like this are hard to come by.

I find it amazing that I have friends I have known my whole life. These girls are like sisters to me. If you look at each of us, we are so different in so many ways, yet by some grace of God we have found a way to make it work. We have found a way to build bonds that transcend friendship. I would give my right arm for any of them.

From the depths of my heart, thank you for all you do. Thank you for making me laugh "I curse the day he was born", thank you for buying me a replacement bear when it was hard to throw away my other one, thank you for being my stand-in BF and calling me before/after work, thank you for pushing me to take Bar classes, thank you for standing up for me, thank you for recommending good books, thank you for coming home even though you didn't have to, thank you for coffee nights, concerts, summer fun and thank you for helping me realize what kind of person I really am and how much I have to look forward to. You have let me lean on you when I needed it the most and I couldn't be more grateful.

You All Rock My World

Ok on to the next thing, now that I'm done gushing my heart out (I know I know, I just can't help!). It seems I found a new love for reading Blogs. When I mentioned this to Farida the other night, she told me to check out John Mayers Blog (Um ya I can't wait to see him live on Sunday night, look out for a follow up Blog) and so I did. I came across this entry and loved it. I hope you enjoy as much as I do.

from the heart....03/27 by JM

I need to write this.

I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and it's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.

I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)

What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.

This is about us all.

This is about a level of self-consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.

This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."

This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.

This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.

This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.

This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.

I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.

And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.

What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that. And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.

I'm going quiet now.

John

Even The Devil Wouldn't Recognize You

2008-07-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

Change, it seems to be a word I think of often these days. I find it crazy how much things can change from day to day, week to week, year to year. You really just never know what could happen.

About a month ago, I happen to be in a sitting with a bunch of girls who were much younger then me. The girls ranged from 13-15 and I couldn’t help but listen in on the conversation they were having. I held my tongue for as long as I could, but there came a time where I knew I had to step in. One of the girls is going into the 9th grade, which means she is 14 years old at the most. She was talking to her friends about how she already took some highschool classes and wanted to graduate at 16 so she could get married. At the sound of this my head spun around so fast I thought it was going to fall off.

**Note: In our culture you are some what brainwashed to think you have to get married as young as possible. I would like to say most parents these days don’t encourage this until their daughters are well educated and finish college. This is the responsible and smart thing for every parent to do, but regardless from the time a girl is 5 years old all they hear about is marriage this and marriage that. By the time they are 25 they better have the ball rolling or they are in big “trouble”. Yes, it's stupid I know...but it's the truth**

I was pleased that all her friends thought this statement was a bit crazy, as they all asked her about going to college. She then starts in on a rant about how "hard" life is and at this point I start my classic eye rolling, I couldn’t believe she was serious. I looked this young girl straight in the eyes and tell her how much she is going to laugh at herself when she thinks of this time in her life 10 years from now. Not even 10 years...3 years from now!

I know at every age we all go through something that makes us think the world is going to end. I know better then anyone else, because as much as I hate to admit it I can be a bit dramatic (agh that's really hard for me to say, but I guess that's part of the new me...facing my lovely flaws…but I like to look at it as I’m just a passionate person!). I remember being 15 years old and thinking that every issue I ran into was so important, only later to find how silly it all was because at the end of the day NONE of it mattered. I'm not so sure I will be able to do the same when I look back at this point of my life. Rather then think my issues are silly, I'm sure I will realize that everything happens for a reason even if you don't know it at the time.

It's frightening how much you change as a young adult. I remember being 18 and having numerous conversations on marriage with my other 18 year old friends. I once again LAUGH at the idea that we ever thought we were ready for that at such a young age. I don't think people realize how much they truly change and grow from 18-20, 20-23, 23-25. Each of these years are filled with things that mold us into the people we will become: college, internships, making new friends, moving, jobs, traveling, and so on. I feel like you kind of sell yourself out, if you don't get the chance to really understand who you are before promising your life to someone else. Each year I surprise myself, because although my core values don't change many of my perceptions on life do.

What bothers me even more then what I have stated above, is when you think you know someone but you never really do. You form friendships, you meet people whom you love deeply...but little by little they become someone else, and accepting them for that person becomes extremely difficult because they no longer possess the qualities that made you love them in the first place.

I use to be a person who advocated the idea of getting married at a young age, but the more time goes by the more I realize what a bad idea this is unless you truly are one of the most mature 20 year olds on the face of the earth.

Really random, I know…but just my thoughts for today.

Hope everyone had an awesome 4th of July.... I’m happy to say I had a better one then 2007...at least it didn’t end in tears and that was the goal!

So it looks like I might be on a role when it comes to updating this thing, I don't want to jinx myself! Let's see how long I keep it up.

Picture Prefect Memory

2008-07-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

This is a blessing and curse all in one. Alhamdulilah I have a really good memory. It's really hard for me to forget things especially when it comes to people I love. I still remember the day I met Farida and I was only 7 years old! I remember her coming over with her family for the first time and spending the night because we didn't want to stop playing.

I remember the first night I met Bayan at a Ramadan dinner, not having a clue what kind of friendship would grow throughout the next two years. I remember the first time I really had a conversation with Rudy while manning an AAI table and falling in love with her amazing personality and love for life. I remember so many insane moments Nana and I shared growing up, having no idea how drastically our lives would change 10 years down the road. I remember my first day of college when I ran into Saadia (who I hated in a pervious life haha) again not knowing we would later form the C-Unit and I would be bridesmaid at her wedding. I remember family vacations, birthday, weddings, first loves, crazy high school/college times and so much more.

The issue with this is that sometimes I want to forget. Sometime my picture perfect memory gets the best of me and I am overwhelmed with sadness when I remember old friends or people I have shared amazing things with who are no longer part of my life. No matter how hard I would like to forget, I can't.

Bayan and I had this conversation the other day, because she never remembers anything...and I was shocked at how different our outlooks are. There are seriously some moments in life I could never forget. I could tell you where I was, what I was doing, what the people were wearing and most defiantly the year and month it happened. I know, its sick! Some people can only remember really important memories, but what seems to be a big deal to me is not such a big deal to others. Sometimes I think it's going to be the death of me. My Mom will forever tell people not to argue with me when it comes to old memories because I will always be right! (Sarah is always right, that has a ring to it)

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a few weeks ago. For those of you who don't know the movie is about a couple that undergo a procedure to erase each other from their memories when their relationship goes bad, but soon come to find "You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story."

There are so many people who have walked in and out of my life but have left a lasting impression, there are others who have walked in and out of my life who I would like to erase but I have come to learn at the end of the day our memories makes us who we are and you can't change the past. So going forward I wont try to forget old memories but rather realize how lucky am I to be able to hold on to so much. I will cherish the good and learn from the bad and will hopefully be a better person for it.

The Bar

2008-07-01T11:06:00.000-07:00

No, not the kind you grab a drink at...

I have lucked out by having a fitness crazed friend who is forever introducing me to new and improved workout and health plans. So when she told me she had signed us up for what seems to be the most recent trend in L.A and New York I was all for it. Little did I know what I was getting myself into when I walked into my first Bar Method Class.....

To say I wanted to die half way through would be an understatement. Who knew such little movements could be so effective! The Bar Method seeks to stretch every major muscle group, and oh boy does it!

I am currently working with a trainer twice a week and taking a dance class once a week, none of the those do me in the same way as Bar. When done with the 60min workout you walk out feeling like you used every part of body. This is the kind of workout that tricks you into thinking you deserve a big treat when your done (like a big piece of chocolate cake!).

Don't be fooled by the name, you don't need any formal dance training to take part in this class, the main focus is to use the bar as a tool to work ever damn bone in your body including: arms, legs, calf (killer), abs (soooooo killer!), back, thigh, butt etc.

Well I'm happy to say I lived through the experience and will now be going back to the class every other week. If anyone of you girls in the DC area (or guys, but you might be the only one there haha) are interested let me know! It's worth a try and if your up for really pushing yourself. They say with time it gets easier..I sure hope so.

Dave Matthews Take Two

2008-06-30T06:35:00.000-07:00

The weekend always goes by so fast. Sunday is seriously the worst day of the week because you spend the whole day thinking, "tomorrow is Monday". I always find myself asking what did I do this weekend, and how did it go by so fast?!

So I spent all last week listening to my best Dave Matthews mixed CD's to get pumped for the concert this past Saturday. I saw them live for the first time 3 summers ago (almost exactly to the date!) and could never forget the experience, so when I found out they would be making a stop in VA on their summer tour I new I had to go! Farida and I packed up the car for our 3 hour ride (which was well worth it!) and jammed the whole time while also reading up on astrology/birth signs....which has become my new obsession but I'll save that for another post.

This show was like none of I have ever been to, and that’s saying a lot considering I have been to so many shows I can't even count. It was 100% different from the first time I saw him live and I loved every bit of it. I have never had the chance to sit on the lawn at Nissan Pavilion before, and now that I have I will be do it again 100 times over! It was amazing to see the seas of people all around, and it's nothing like sitting under the Pavilion in a seat. We got there right before he went on, and he played and two and a half hour set.

By far the highlights of my night were the following songs:
-You Might Die Trying
-The Space Between
-Everyday
-Ants Marching

He closed the show with Thank You, and by the end you couldn’t even hear him because the crowed was singing so damn loud....amazing.

Best lines of the night:
Farida: "Do you know what the best part of this whole show is?"
Sarah: "What"?
Farida: "There will be no fighting on the way home"!!

And then we gave the middle finger in remembrance of our last Dave Matthews experience hahaha. I'm so happy to have a friend like her who is down for any show at anytime.

I'm already looking forward to the next time he's on tour, I have a feeling seeing him live wont get old for a long time to come.

Next stop on my summer of concerts: John Mayer, July 13th...good times.

A New Kind Of Life

2008-06-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that my life has changed dramatically in the last two months. I have not updated this since February (as I knew I would be so so bad at that), and if you would have told me at that point I would be where I am today I would have called you crazy.

A New Kind of Life is exactly what I'm working on. I have learned more about myself in the last 60 days then I have in the last 4 years of my life. I'm amazed by the strength I never thought I had, and for the first time in a very long time I am only concerned about my own happiness. It feels so good to be selfish and do everything I want to do with no questions asked and nothing to worry about.

I feel so lucky and blessed to have amazing friends and family. I will never take this for granted so long as I live because without them I don't know where I would be or how I would survive such trying times.

So my "New Kind of Life" entails many changes/things I am looking forward to in the next 12months. My mind is all over the place and each day I find myself adding to my year long "to do list". I am pleased at how in just two short months I have started to come up with a plan to some how make each thing on my list happen:

In no particular order:

-Travel: I will be spending a week at the beach with my family. A week at the beach with my girl friends, and traveling to Egypt in December (which may be a permanent move for a while, but I'm still working on that)

-Pay off my credit cards: So ya this one is not coming along so well, my new found freedom has me spending more then I probably should. But your only young once, so I'm going to take advantage of this time and buy cloths when I want to, eat out at amazing places, travel because I can, and just have fun.

-Save money: See Above lol

-Read more books: I have at least three-four summer books lined up. I am currently reading Eat, Pray, Love (Thank you Rudy) and I can't say enough good things about it. Perfect book for the perfect time.

-Lose 15-20 pounds and start working out by taking classes/going to the gym/personal trainer: This was actually on the very top of my list and I am quite pleased on how it's going thus far. I have lost 10 pounds, am meeting with a personal trainer twice a week, taking a belly dancing class once a week, and just doing my best to stay active and really get in shape.

-Eat healthy: This kind of goes hand and hand with the above. It really is a life style change, you naturally want to eat better when you are working so hard to get in shape. All of a sudden that extra slice of chocolate cake doesn't seem so worth it.

-Take piano lessons: I have always wanted to do this, but thought I was "to old" to learn. I know, to old?! I'm only 23, which in my book still counts as super young...so I have found a place and am working on picking a teacher. It won't be anything crazy, just once a week for 30min..but I'm excited.

-Sky Dive: I'm still trying to find the right people to do this with. No way in hell can I going on my own and it's def. something I want to share with someone else...anyone down for this get in touch with me!

-Change my room/get new furniture: Soha is home for the summer, but once she leaves I will be moving into her room and changing everything. (Again this is tentative depending on where my travel plans will take me in the coming months)

-New Ear Piercing: This will for sure be done by the end of the summer, but god knows I don't really need anymore lol.

-Avon Breast Cancer Walk: I have been talking about this for the past 3 years. I hope I get the chance to take part in it this year or next.

-Apply to be on deal or no deal (haha this is reaching I know): The application is almost done, and now I need to make a 5min tape. You may think I'm crazy...but it's the best plan I could come up with to get a good amount of money fast haha.

I'm truly looking forward to what the coming year has in store for me. I can't lie and say I'm this positive all the time...some days are harder then others. For the most part I'm just really proud of myself and have realized if I can make through such a painful experience I can make it through a lot.

I think I should add to my list that I need to update this once a week. I wont pick a certain day...but I will make a vow that once a week I will get to it. I think it might actually be kinda therapeutic and God knows I need that!

So here's to a New Kind of Life, and a year full of adventures, truths, and self-discovery

A Big Hit

2007-11-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/dave_zirin/11/27/taylor.react/

It's a dark day in D.C. as fans mourn Taylor's death

Young and old, in burgundy and gold, they have gathered in Redskin Park today, huddled around a parking spot adorned with the number 21. Players are trickling in. No one is saying a word because no one has to. All throughout Washington, D.C. there are signs of remembrance. At one high school, there are scores of people decked out in burgundy and gold. The sky couldn't be a more threatening shade of grey, but no one is moving.

"I don't want to hear it. I just don't want to hear it," one man says. We all know what he doesn't want to hear. Sean Taylor is dead. That's the immutable, unshakable fact. A gunshot wound to the femoral artery claimed Taylor's short life at age 24.

Often we see football players as superheroes that magically appear on Sundays to entertain us. But these are people with families, friends, and communities that depend upon them. Sean Taylor had an 18-month-old daughter. Thirty members of his extended family were grouped outside of his hospital room when he was pronounced dead. Their loss should be foremost in our minds and prayers. Basic humanity should dictate that this is their tragedy first.

But the bizarre, irrational part of all of this is that it's unquestionably our tragedy too. This isn't a Peyton Manning or Reggie Bush; someone who has presented a highly buffed familiar face for us to cozy up to. Taylor treated the media like Superman treats kryptonite. Off the field, he was a cipher, a phantom. We knew him with his helmet on, no more, no less.

And yet, in front of Redskin Park, on sports radio, on my cell phone, people are expressing a terrible, ineffable sadness. Talk radio in particular has been harrowing. Grown men are calling with a catch in their voice. Tough sports radio announcers, ex-jocks who usually treat emotion with abject contempt, are breaking down. We didn't know Taylor, but we still knew him.

Over the last year, I have referenced Taylor repeatedly in columns. His unique skill set made him especially evocative.

Once I wrote: "The game is changing: Players today are bigger, stronger and faster than even 10 years ago ... Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor weighs 235 pounds and runs 40 yards in less than 4.5 seconds. His job as safety is to do more than protect his defensive backs: It's to find people with the ball and with his scary combination of speed and power, remove their senses from their body."

Taylor was evolution writ large on the field: a linebacker who ran like a wide receiver, and hit like a truck. He was Magic Johnson running the point at 6-foot-9, a 7-foot Dirk Nowitzki nailing threes; he made us think we were watching the future. It wasn't for nothing, they called him "Meast" -- half man half beast.

Today Taylor becomes not an exemplar of power and grace, but a petrified snapshot of tragedy. There will be time to discuss what Taylor's death means, about whether it is related to previous transgressions with the law. Taylor, the son of a police chief, certainly never shied away from trouble.

There will be time to discuss the modern phenomenon of athletes becoming attractive targets of violent crime. There will be time to wonder how we can feel this death so strongly while so many others pass unnoticed -- from the Middle East to our own cities. It's hard not to notice that on a day when we all weep for Taylor, a report comes out that Washington, D.C. has the highest HIV rate of any city in the country, "a modern epidemic." As history's mass murderers knew all too well, it's hard to weep for statistics, so we weep for Sean Taylor.

This dynamic became all too clear on sports radio this morning. I heard a host speaking with a young man from Prince George's County, Md. The caller spoke to hearing gunshots constantly in his neighborhood. He said that it doesn't even faze him anymore, doesn't even interrupt his sleep. He spoke with a creaky voice about Taylor's death making him realize just how sad it is that he's so calloused, he doesn't even think about who is doing the shooting and where the bullets might be heading. The host was floored. After expressing his shock that gun shots could possibly go unnoticed he said, "If nothing else [Taylor's death] gives us a face of what goes on in America 24 hours a day."

He's right. But today there is only grief. Grief that Sean Taylor will -- in the most obscene possible fashion -- be forever young.

A Good Wife's Guide

2007-11-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine sent this to me for a good laugh. My God, have times changed....and I couldn't be happier! Last time I checked a relationship was about two people...not one man!

“The Good Wife’s Guide” from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Don’t complain if he’s home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
17. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place.

A New Beginning

2007-11-25T13:18:00.000-08:00

So this is my 3rd and final attempt to start an on going blog (let's see how long this lasts). Just last night Ahmad asked me, what's the point? I think that's a really good question. It has nothing to do with wanting people to read about me or my life...it more so has to do with wanting a place to dump my random, mixed up thoughts...or maybe just vent once in a while.

Since graduating college in the spring of '06 I have learned so much about myself. It's been an up and down rollercoaster ride of internships, jobs, and life changes. I have finally found a job I feel I can stick with...the only issue is, I still have A LOT to learn. I can't event start to stress how different work is from school. I will never forget the days before graduation when all I would hear is "you’re really going to miss school" or "working is the worst". I would beg to differ on this. I was never really a school person....studying was just not my thing. I truly do love working but have to admit it's a much different life style and takes a lot of getting use to.

I miss having my whole summer off to read, shop, go on vacation, and most of all SLEEP IN! I miss having 10am classes (or later) rather then getting up at 6:30am to start my 2 hour trip to work (that's right my friends, I said 2 hours!) I miss knowing that if I make a mistake it's my own issue to deal with and really have no one to answer to about it (regarding grades and so on).I would have to say this is one of the major differences. If you make a mistake it's no longer about you....it's about your company, your client, and in my case your speaker. I'm looking forward to the day when I am 100% confident in the job I'm doing....because even after 8 months I know I have a lot to work on.

The year is almost over (2007 has flown by as fast as 05 and 06) and I’m looking forward to the year ahead as I have set so many goals for myself. I'm so excited for 08, as I will soon become Ms. Mahmoud-Mando, but for now will do my best to make the most out of the last month of 07.

So here is to the start of my blog filled with random thoughts and ideas. I'm going to try my best to stay up to date but I make no promises, as this has failed many times in the past ;)

P.S. I was so sad to see the Eagles lose tonight….what an amazing game! Wish they could have walked away with a win! I’m waiting for the day I can see the Pat’s lose!